Brave – it takes courage to begin
Exciting – not knowing how the work will evolve
Genius – not every decision is genius and it doesn’t matter
In the zone – you know it will happen
Nervous – scary looking at that blank canvas
I am back in my painting studio today after a long summer working on other projects. It takes some doing to get me in there!
Normally, I am not fond of housework. I love it when it’s done, but preferably by someone else! Now, knowing that I have time to paint, I have been searching for ‘essential jobs’.
I have de spidered my painting studio, got rid of source materials that have sat in the same folders since the studio was built. I have arranged all my collage papers into neat coloured piles. My paints are sorted into handy trays only to discover that I didn’t really need to order that last lot – 3 bottles of quindocrine gold! Ah well – you can never have enough art materials to play with…
Yesterday, I gessoed a few boards, studied a few tutorials on using Procreate, I hovered about in the garden, finished off a few jobs in the pottery, put on the dishwasher, put the washing in the dryer, answered emails.
Finding no more distractions, eventually I had to force myself to go in and face the blank canvas on the easel.
Why do I find it so hard?
Once I’m in that special space where all other thoughts and worries melt away and I am one with my painting, I wonder why it took so long and so many ’jobs’ later to get there.
I know writers have the same feelings – I think mine stem from a lack of confidence and as I am a person that likes to be in control, I am entering a space where I want to let the work dictate where I take it.
Now, knowing my misgivings and that the blank canvas is so scary, I boldly cover it with collage, drippy paint, texture, random lines, until there is no white left.
Magically, something starts to emerge which speaks to me and I can begin…